Why There Isn't Anybody When I'm Down?

Why there isn't anybody when I'm down?
Should I scream "I NEED A FRIEND" ?!
NOT ONLY FRIEND, BUT WHO UNDERSTOOD ME!!

If you see I'm strong enough at the cover
No, I'm sure that is wrong definetly
I know I am fragile exactly into the deeper
So much stress could destroy me completely

Should I say,
"Yeah Ri, your coping of stress is very dreadful" ?
Or would I say,
"The stress itself grows rapidly but I can't handle it by myself" ?
Or just say,
"People surely need helps for solving their problems and stresses.
So do I.
But in fact, where are the helps?
Where are they who can be here when I'm down?!"

(I know this writing sounds very sorrowful.
I know this writing is full of anger.
But, It's just my way to cope the stresses.
Just let me express in my way.
Just let me prove to myself:
Every stress that come in to me
wouldn't break me down and fall me.
Every minute I take to solve the problems
would make me being more mature.
Every breath I take to reduce the stress
would give me extra chance to grow.)


Yogya, March 24th 2009
8:08 waiting wheter the stressors would go

Sendiri

Sendiri.
Diam.
Sepi.
Sendu.
Kosong
Kelabu.
Jatuh.
Suram.
Bengkalai.
Asing.
Hampa.

Apa pun itu
Hanya menuju satu
Keberadaan 'Diriku'
yang msh kuragu

Siapa gerangan itu
Mampu memelukku
Dapat mengangkatku
Dari jurang kelabu

Dimanakah itu
Dapat kutemu
Harapan baru
Untuk hidupku

Bagaimanakah itu
Dapat kurengkuh
Bahagia selalu
Dalam jemariku

Doa Sebelum Tidur

Teringat masa kecilku.
Kala aku di-nina bobokan oleh ibuku.
Diriku terbaring bersama adikku di ranjang.
Ibuku selalu berkata, "Jangan lupa berdoa sebelum tidur.."
Kemudian ia mengajari kami dengan mengucap lafalnya perlahan,
"Bismillahhirahmannirahiim.. Bismika Allahumma ahya wa bismika amuut......"
Lafal doa yang ibuku lafalkan sebenarnya masih panjang.
Berlanjut dengan kata ".. yamumit, yamumit, yamumit, ....."
Dengan sabar ibuku menjelaskan, "Yamumit-nya tiga kali"
Lalu kami menirukan sambil menghitung dengan jari
"... yamumit, yamumit, yamumit, .........................."
Namun, tak ku ingat lagi kalimat doa selanjutnya.
Kala itu diriku masih sangat kecil.
Adikku pun masih terbata-bata berbicara.
Ingatan kami belum terbuka sepenuhnya.
Sampai kini aku pun masih bertanya.
Bagaimanakah kelanjutan doa itu?
Akan ku tanya pada ibundaku tersayang.
Supaya aku dapat mengajarkan pada cucunya kelak.


Yogya, 24 Maret 2009
1: 01 mengingat doa sebelum tidur