.. maybe i live in the past actually, 'cause i think i'm not exist well here & now..

What I think about my life is as das sein and das sollen now & here
I see and think about things that happened to my life
Aren't they supposed to be same with my hope?!
But in fact, they aren't, or they never really be true

I try hard, lot efforts, spend much energy & time
Be happy, think positive, and avoid mood in negative
Look for friends, relate with others, be accepted by clique
learn, work, pray for tomorrow that will come
-oh, I realize there're still some home works for me:
well communicate, release false perception of mine,
those all I need if I want to exist now & here-
But all that efforts that I show in front or back side
Still haven't already shown hoped feedback for me

I think, that's what I think now & here
But then, I see and recognize
If that efforts shown not too much effective
to release my lonempty inside
or to gain self-esteem & self-actualization for sure
or to reach my purposes for life,
then I think maybe,
I live in the past actually because
I think I'm not exist well now & here

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